Last year when the New Year started I was asked what my word for 2016 was going to be. My friends then went on to explain that they were picking words that would set the tone for the next year. They were words that they felt like God was telling them was going to impact their lives in ways that they may not expect. These words where areas in their life that God was going to grow them in. Instead of picking resolutions and trying to improve themselves for themselves, the word was a way for them to focus the next year on how they can grow in God.
I was caught off guard when they first asked the question, I had never thought of doing something like that. I was so used to being around people that made resolutions and then felt awful when reviewing them at the end of the year. Mostly due to the fact that they had never accomplished anything on their list, or if they had, it was not as many things as they had wished. This new idea was revolutionary to me. It did not take me very long to realize what my word was. I felt as though God had already been preparing me to answer this question, I just didn’t know it.
My word for 2016 was “decision”.
Kind of a weird word, I know, but if you KNEW me then you would understand exactly what this word meant to me. I hate making decisions. I am the typical girl, that when someone asks where I want to go to dinner, I have NO IDEA. I mean seriously, why ask me such stupid questions? I don’t care. I eat anything, except Mexican food, and even that I will eat if someone really wants to go. I do not want to decide where we visit, what the next movie we see is, or where the next adventure is. I’m the “chill” friend who does not care what we do, I am up for anything as long as everyone is having fun.
But, that is the key. I want everyone to have fun despite how I may feel about it.
Decisions scare me.
What if I made the wrong one? What if it did not turn out the way that I expected it to? What if I made a decision and it hurt someone I loved? What if I could not do it even though I thought I did? What if it isn’t what everyone else wants to do?
It was easier for me to just go with the flow. It was easier not to make anyone else’s life hard because of something I wanted to do instead. Easier not go back to school because it meant not having to figure out what I am doing with my life or disappointing those who had a plan for it. Not staying in a hard place because it was just easier to leave. Despite my life’s easiness, I knew that, that was what God wanted to work on in my life. I needed to make decisions because God did not call me to live a life that was lukewarm, but to live a life that was on fire. How is God going to do big things through me if I stay stagnant?
As 2016 went on and came to a close I had totally forgot about picking “decision” as my word for the last year. But, as I started looking back at the year, I noticed that making and growing in the areas of decision making was prominent in my life. I had made the decision to pick and be involved in a small group on Tuesday nights even though none of my close friends where in it. I had made the decision to not quit my job, even though I had plenty of reason to do it. I had made the decision to become involved with a youth group working with high school students and decided not to go back to working at a camp that I had for so long called home. I had even done what I thought was impossible and picked a degree, school, and started taking classes this last year. I made a lot of decisions and grown a lot more than I had expected.
Don’t get me wrong, I still have a lot of growing to do when making decisions. I still have a hard time picking out things to eat and what I am going to wear. But, I learned that God is with me no matter what. The decisions in my life have helped me grow and taken me places that I would have never expected. I prayed more in my car driving to work this last year trying to figure out what I was going to decide than I have in a long time.
Now, I know that it is twenty days into 2017, and this seems like old news, but I am still reflecting. Still praying for my word this next year. I think I know it, but for right now I am going to keep it to myself. Why? I want my life to be uninfluenced by what others may think of me, and only influenced by what my Savior thinks of me. So, I am going to keep it between me and Him (and some close friends to keep me accountable).
Babbles and Bakes 